Today is the third anniversary of when AS, NT and I made our lifetime commitment to one another! This has been such a hectic fall and winter that it all but fell by the wayside. The first two years I looked up what kind of anniversary it was (paper, cotton) and made sure we all gave each other gifts to match, but this year the only thing we planned is dinner out tonight at a new, nice-looking Italian restaurant. NT did write the nicest note to us this morning though; reminded me that, during the first year of dating when NT was in England and we were in America, his letters and e-mails were the main thing that kept up our faith that this crazy idea was really going to work out. And it has, better than I ever could have imagined! Happy anniversary, sweeties.
And now, the return of pregnant brain. I was absent-minded and distracted during the first couple months of pregnancy, but by mid-September I was pretty much back to normal. Now, again, I find I'm doing stupid things, or having little slips of the memory or other brain functions that I take for granted. Today in the breakroom I was getting ice out of the freezer and somehow dumped the whole bin onto the floor. Then when I was updating my spreadsheets, I noticed my calculation of what should be in our savings account was over by $20. I'm always so careful with that, so I have no idea what happened! After some agonizing, I took the $20 out of my EF line item; the only other budget category is NT's schoolbooks, which I haven't touched in ages, so it must be something I did when I typed in the new EF total recently. Then again, when updating my Number Crunch worksheet, I came out with a dollar surplus that I couldn't account for. I just hope this new stupidity doesn't seep into my proofreading! It did make me realize that if I were truly out of commission ever, all my budgetary stuff is just in my head. I need to set up a binder of log-ins, bill due dates and other information so that NT and AS could muddle through if I couldn't handle finances for awhile.
Yesterday afternoon was slow at work, so I finally got around to calling some daycare providers. Our initial list only includes downtown providers that are right on our bus line or mere blocks away. All I can say is, yowch! I'd seen in several reports that Minneapolis rates for infants average $1200 per month, so I'd prepared for that amount. What I hadn't considered is that daycare outside downtown is probably cheaper, meaning to get to a $1200 average, downtown rates have to be significantly higher. The six places I contacted range from $1300 per month to--get this--$2246 a month!!
Actually, only one place I contacted was over $2000. The ones we can consider (because they cost less than AS's monthly salary) are $1300 to $1452.
It hurts, but I think we're still going with this option. AS has just started back at a job that she's truly passionate about, so money isn't the issue there; plus, for moving to England, her main option (not being a legal spouse) is going to be through employment or starting a business, so she needs work experience. It's essential to our big-picture future plans.
NT and I like our jobs a lot but they're not our lives' passions. However, the salaries are significantly higher than AS's. If we have a hope of raising a kid while continuing to accelerate debt payment and retirement savings, our jobs are both key. And in this uncertain economic environment plus shaky healthcare situation, having two jobs with healthcare options is much safer than just having one. I'll never forget what happened to my SAHM sister when she had a miscarriage while her husband was between jobs and healthcare for the new job didn't kick in soon enough.
So that's the deal now, but it's a situation that I'll revisit frequently to make sure it's really the best and smartest decision for our family.
Anniversary! Plus pregnant brain is back...groan...and daycare shocker
December 2nd, 2009 at 05:14 pm
December 2nd, 2009 at 05:19 pm 1259774382
December 2nd, 2009 at 05:31 pm 1259775107
December 2nd, 2009 at 05:36 pm 1259775387
Not to stress you out. I wanted to say your child is lucky to have 3 people to provide for him/her. I always felt our arrangement though "unique" on some level was extra special for the children. Obviously, you will find that even moreso in your situation.
December 2nd, 2009 at 05:43 pm 1259775833
On the flip side, the in-home daycare we sent our children to for a time - there is no one on this earth I would rather leave my kids with. My kids were better off there, than with family. The babies there were spoiled rotten by the adults AND kids.
Though germ-wise, not sure I'd ever leave my baby at a group daycare. That's a lot of exposure to a LOT of germs. The germs were very hard on my 2-year-old - we were all sick for about a year straight. MS. Preschool said that's the norm - one year of constant ilnnes - then you are immune to "everything." Babies don't need that.
There are awesome nannies and awesome group daycare providers. You'll know the right one when you find it.
December 2nd, 2009 at 05:45 pm 1259775900
I'm going to toss my two cents vote in on a babysitter over daycare, too. The babysitter I used for my kids was a neighbor woman who had a big physical disability w/dwarfism and other issues, but she was the greatest lady and my kids still love and cherish the time they had with her. She has since passed away.
It was considerably cheaper than daycare and in being an across-the-street-neighbor, she was easily accessible. It provided her with enough income to help her financially yet not disqualify her for her disability check and it helped us too. A win-win.
December 2nd, 2009 at 05:48 pm 1259776111
December 2nd, 2009 at 06:19 pm 1259777980
December 2nd, 2009 at 06:22 pm 1259778120
My jaw dropped when I read about cost of daycare. It was high when I had my twins... they are about your age CeeJay... and now it is so much more. I have no doubt you will work it out, though. I keep thinking how lucky your baby is to have three parents. I do think you will thoroughly enjoy parenthood because there are 3 of you to share the joys, the challenges, and to take turns sleeping during those early months. Talk about back up!
December 2nd, 2009 at 09:44 pm 1259790267
December 2nd, 2009 at 11:36 pm 1259797002
There are websites such as sittercity and care (both are .com's I think) which have a good base of people to choose from - both for nannies and babysitters. They do a background check and have "resumes". You might be able to find a less expensive route that way.
December 3rd, 2009 at 05:13 am 1259817198
here 'family daycare' is very popular - it is cheaper as it is run out of people's homes and popular because there is usually only 4 or 5 children per carer. maybe that could be an option?
December 3rd, 2009 at 07:16 pm 1259867767
December 4th, 2009 at 06:17 pm 1259950657
Our days care is 19 a day or about 361 a month when it is fulltime; if it is part time it is 2.50 and hour so if we have to use the part time provider fulltime it is 427.50 a month.
Currently my son goes to afterschool care which is available from 3:05 until 6pm with pickup from the school for 165 per month. I cant imagine how to pay those cost you are quoting.
Do you all work at the same time? My cousin used to work nights while her husband worked days until their children were in school so that they did not have to put them in daycare, would you guys be able to shift your shifts so that you could each spend time watching the baby and working. 8 hours work, 8 hours baby/personal time, 8 hours sleep times three equals full coverage.