This post will be a bit morbid, but it's something I've been thinking about so wanted to get it out of my system.
The past month has felt kind of "death is all around me." First, a college friend passed away at age 39 (cancer). Not totally unexpected, but I'd become very involved in her journey via Facebook and her blog, and had convinced myself she'd live. She left behind 2 young kids, a husband and a mother.
Then, a friend's mother died. She was in her 70s or 80s, but still, it was unexpected. He went up north to check on her and do some work around her home, and found her body.
And of course poor Sicily/Teresa from our SA community.
It's made me think, I'm 40 years old, parents are getting older, siblings are getting older, and plus, death just happens unexpectedly to younger, healthier people. Is there a point where you just start having to deal with more and more deaths of loved ones?
The college friend was a big blow. Not because we were super-close (though I did like her and we had tons of mutual friends), but because she fought so hard, seemed so invincible, and then just died. She sort of represents the realization (or rather, the confirmation) that I and my contemporaries are not immortal.
I vaguely considered going to her memorial but I knew it would be well-attended by people who had many, many more memories and stories to share. It did make me think, though. There are lots and lots of people whose services I would like to attend if they passed away.
Last-minute airfare and expenses could really add up. So what so I do if that situation comes? It's not really an emergency, because you know it's likely to happen (you just don't know when or who). Do you pull money out of "wants"? Take it from the EF and build it up later? Or maybe there should be a separate pocket of money, so if and when tragedy strikes, financial considerations aren't an added burden on top of grief.
I'm not prepared to start yet another savings goal right now, but I'm turning over the idea in my mind as a possibility for the future.
Bereavement fund?
March 19th, 2014 at 04:47 am
March 19th, 2014 at 12:54 pm 1395233683
I'm trying to muddle through my own dark death of recent deaths and anniversary of deaths. Makes me realize that I want to visit my grandma this summer. She is 94 and still in good health, spirits and right mind. I imagine that I should price travel for me and the kids for a visit and come up with a plan. I am less inclined to feel like planning for funeral attendance, but that is just because of where I am at right now. I might start a budget line called "OTHER" to plan for those expenses.
March 19th, 2014 at 01:28 pm 1395235721
That's why I like to keep things flexible. We have enough cash to cover that kind of stuff. If we had a particularly expensive "bereavement" year, then something else would have to give. Probably take it out of wants. As we would want to replenish our cash or not run through it too quickly. Of course, if it became common and regular expenses we'd have to plan better. All our family is local, so I don't foresee any huge expenses. It can get expensive when our parents are in the hospital, etc. (all the driving and eating out) but still doesn't compare to an airline flight.
I even looked up the other day what exactly my state "family leave" benefits entailed - if there was an allowance for grief or anything like that. Was maybe thinking about it as parents lost another friend very recently.
March 19th, 2014 at 02:16 pm 1395238565
I don't have a bereavement fund, but I do consider bereavement costs a suitable use for my emergency fund. What are we living for, after all, if we don't honor those we love?
March 19th, 2014 at 02:26 pm 1395239211
March 19th, 2014 at 03:15 pm 1395242140
I recently travelled for funeral and the money came out of savings. We don't have any special savings for this type of travel. My relative had been sick for over a year and things could have gone either way for him. I decided early on that if he died from his illness I wanted to attend the funeral, so it wasn't a huge surprise.
March 20th, 2014 at 01:58 am 1395280729