Ceejay74's Personal Finance Blog

Saturday (26th) we finally got some snowfall. After opening one last gift each (a Boxing Day tradition NT brought with him) and eating breakfast, I took the kids down to the front yard to play in the snow. I helped made a pitiful snowman (it wasn't good packing snow) and shoveled our front walk and sidewalk. The kids mostly wanted to eat snow (it's no good trying to stop them) so I didn't let them stay out too long, concerned their faces were getting too cold.

After lunch we put them in bed and AS and I went out to pick up a few staples we'd run out of. Three of the things were cat litter, cat food and a 10-lb. bag of basmati rice, so we were quite worn out when we got back! The adults watched some Doctor Who and relaxed. We ate leftovers and easy stuff for all meals, and people ate whenever they felt like it. The kids are going to have quite a culture shock when we get back to organized meals around the table!

The 27th (Sunday) started off on the wrong foot, with me and NT sniping at each other for various things. For one thing, some out-of-town acquaintances wanted their kid and ours to hang out, and NT suggested sledding at the big dangerous hill where I damaged my shoulder last January. Eventually we came to a grumpy agreement to meet our friends at a nearby park with virtually no slopes at all. Luckily after that things perked up. We had a nice time there, and went to a coffee shop across the street afterward (hot chocolate for the kids, coffee for the grownups). At home NT and I took it easy -- he'd jarred his shoulder and I was still nursing the cold I'd caught on Xmas -- and cuddled up on the couch as best we could without me hurting his shoulder more. AS went for drinks with our downstairs neighbors.

These of course were completely family-fun-filled days.

Christmas Eve I basically let the kids eat and do whatever they felt like (up to and including macaroni for breakfast, which I also indulged in ). I did a ton of cooking, making veggie sausage and pepperoni for our downstairs neighbors, fixing little snacks for whoever wanted something, making a Persian herbed rice called sabzi polo for dinner with the neighbors, and making "sunrise pasta casserole" (spaghetti with sauce, veggie sausage, eggs/tofu and cheese) that we could throw in the oven Xmas morning for brunch. We set out the British and the American Santa snacks (mince pie and rum, cookie and milk) and I helped the kids write and sign a note to Santa.

Xmas Day we did the usual, opening presents, playing with the presents, stuffing our faces, lazing around and napping. We (well, Santa) got the 3-year-old SL a play toolbox and tape measure and that went over huge. AA got a ton of girly stuff by request, but we also got her some science stuff (a kit, a microscope with slides) and those ended up being some of her favorite toys of the day. I read them some of their new books, played some of their new games, etc. Our friends came upstairs for dinner; AS and I cooked veggie ham and roast (both store bought), fried potatoes and biscuits, and our friends made a bunch of different veggie sides. SL and I developed slight colds, and NT was still out of it from pain medication, but overall it was a really good Xmas.

Monday (21st) I had to work a bit late and then cook, so didn't have much quality time. But I did play "art school" with AS and the kids.

Tuesday (22nd) was my last day of work for the year. I hurried to get things done so I could head out early for the daycare holiday party, one of my favorite Xmas events. No songs this year from the kids (darn!) but they made us cute homemade gifts (decorated wine glasses and big cloths that we'll be able to use as the tree skirt next year) and they got to decorate gingerbread cookies and play and read. After that I was really tired (and had to finish up a few work things from home), but I did take time to draw and color imaginary creatures with AA.

Wednesday (23rd) I had the day off but the kids were in daycare. So AS and I went to a favorite diner for brunch (we invited NT but he wanted to stay home and rest some more), then did a couple errands. We had a $10 off gift certificate, but I decided to give the waitress $10 more of a tip as a holiday gift. It was drizzly and gloomy, but AS and I had a fun time hanging out anyway. The daycare lady messaged me on Facebook to thank us for her gift, a $400 bonus that we'd slipped into a Christmas card and given her that morning. AS and I wrapped a bunch of the kids' presents from us and from grandparents, and put them under the tree. That evening, I splurged on a Lyft for AS to pick the kids up since it was snowing, and I cooked an easy dinner. Played silly games with the kids.

Despite all the illness, busy-ness and injuries, we're all having a good time so far this Xmas Eve. Hope all of you in SA land are also enjoying yourselves!

I just remembered, a couple days ago I called my new mortgage lender and was finally able to make my December payment. They waived the usual fee for phone payments and there was no late fee since I had 60 days to make the first payment.

$662 went to principal, so that's $986 of debt paid this month (not counting the loan to NT's mum, which I was tracking separately).

I just remembered in the midst of this super busy December that we'd probably gotten our latest rental deposit into NT's UK account. I checked and it was there, so I sent 450 pounds to his mum. That means we've fully paid the loans she gave us earlier in the year, when we were down to virtually nothing in all bank accounts (due to simultaneously selling the US condo at a big loss, refinancing the US duplex, and renovating our UK rental flat) and some additional bills appeared for the UK renovation.

Those were crazy times. As off-kilter as we feel now with long illnesses and serious injuries, at least now we've got plenty of financial padding, and that makes everything so much easier.

Well, THOSE days went by in a blur. Let's see if I can remember family-oriented things from each of them:

Wednesday (16th): We got a paper-chain kit in the mail, so AA and I made chains. (SO much easier than when I was a kid and you had to cut construction paper into strips!)

Thursday (17th): Took AS to a work function (a vendor threw us a party), and we had a really good time. Drinks, snacks, and karaoke. I cannot resist karaoke, so we stayed fairly late. AS had too much to drink, so she was up much of the night, and I was too, trying to keep an eye on her.

Friday (18th) I had the day off, but it didn't really feel like that. I was so exhausted from my sleepless night that the whole day felt like I was in a dream. I took AA to the bus for her last day of kindergarten and SL to daycare. I had a 10am work meeting that I had to attend, so I had breakfast at a bagel shop and then headed to work for the meeting. Then I met NT at the surgical clinic so I could get instructions for post-surgery care and when to pick him up. I went home and had lunch, then worked on the menu and grocery list for the following week (including Xmas Eve and Day). The clinic called and said the surgery had gone well, so in a while I went back and sat in the waiting room. I thought they would call my cell when he was in the second recovery room, so I didn't bother telling anyone I was there, but they only called me when they were ready to discharge. Oh well, NT was really out of it anyway so he wouldn't have cared much if I was in the room. I got a Lyft and escorted him home. Everyone was so tired that we ordered pizza and sent the kids upstairs to eat and watch TV in the book nook. After we put them in bed, our neighbors came up and we finalized our Xmas Eve and Xmas dinner plans.

So it was certainly a family-oriented day for the most part, just not one I enjoyed.

Saturday (19th): Another busy busy day. I took SL and AA to their first march/rally/protest, along with a friend and one of our neighbors. The kids had helped make their signs, and AA was really into marching and chanting, but SL was bored and annoyed. She'd played with a stick before we got started, and I made her leave it behind so she wouldn't poke anyone during the march. She could not give it a rest about the stick. I carried her part of the way (which I NEVER do) just to pacify her a bit. Then we broke off from the rally when we had to leave, and we had trouble finding where our friend had parked. Eventually we did.

Then it was time to get dressed for my alumni group's holiday party. The same friend who drove to the march was also babysitting for us. As it turned out she also had to keep an eye on NT, who of course couldn't come to the party. But AS and I had a really good time, even though it was a short party. We used a carshare to get there and back.

Once we got home, AS and I had ANOTHER commitment, with a group of friends who go out drinking and socializing about once a month. Our friend who had driven us and babysat is in that group, so she drove us to the restaurant where we were meeting everyone. We had a wonderful time there too. The friend came back to our house and watched some TV with us, but after such a full day, I dozed off in the middle of a show.

Today (20th) we had our friends up for toast for a change (usually we go down to their place). AS took the kids to dance class while I did some of the grocery shopping and put together a super-easy lunch (beanie weenie with canned baked beans and vegetarian hot dogs). Then AS and I did the rest of the shopping. I cooked dinner (twice-baked potatoes and broccoli) and the kids had a long-overdue bath. I then tried to get AA to help me wrap the presents that had built up in the past few days when I'd been too busy to wrap. But she was hyper and spazzy and distracted, so I mostly just wrapped them myself.

So, it was a meh day in terms of the quality of the family time, but oh well. With NT incapacitated, AS and I have just been trying to keep up with things. There's a triple burden of taking over his usual chores (and he does a LOT of regular chores), then also taking care of him, and then since it's Xmas there are all these extra little tasks to handle. So it's just been a lot. But everything is going pretty well, all things considered.

Well, I sat wracking my brain for anything to report on days 14 and 15 of Family December. I know I helped AA with her homework Monday, and she helped me wrap presents both days, but other than that I'm drawing a blank. It's been a really busy overwhelming week at work so far.

Oh well. It's been really good so far; a couple off days can be expected.

However, lots of other non-family time news, good and bad.

First, Spirit was having an airfare sale, so I booked my next trip to see my parents. Going for four days in mid-January, when AA has some days off kindergarten. They also got me to sign up for their $9 fare club or whatever it's called; annual membership was about $60 and fares were about $120 cheaper, so I saved money by doing it. I put a reminder on the 2016 calendar to cancel the membership if I don't end up using Spirit enough to make it worth it. Total for 3 tickets and a rental car: $615. So that's mostly good news.

The bad-news part of that is that we've been borrowing from the UK airfare fund recently for various things. We'd made up a lot of ground, but the airfare pushed us back, not to where we had been but we did lose a lot of progress.

More good: My boss called me in to his office yesterday to let me know he wouldn't be my boss for much longer. They're rejiggering things and I'll be reporting to a new guy I haven't met yet. I was very happy (though I acted neutral) because A) my boss and I are like oil and water, even though we try to get along, B) I'll be moving into an area that focuses on the stuff I'm comfortable with writing and C) my boss (who's not an effusive guy) said several times that I'd been doing really well and getting lots of praise from other higher-ups and that this move was positioning me really well to move up or take experience with me to another company. (I probably wouldn't do that because I'm happier not having to get to know a whole bunch of new people, what with my shyness and face blindness, plus I'm really happy at my new position in this company.)

Then a VP that I've been working closely with lately called me into HIS office, and told me more of the story. Apparently he's retiring in about a year, so this new guy is going to need to absorb as much knowledge about our main client as he can. I'm one of the most knowledgeable people in the company about the ins and outs of the company, its corporate tone of voice as well as the services it offers, so I'll be helping with that.

It's not like I was promised a promotion or raise or anything, but everything they both were saying made it seem like I'm in a really good position here, so I'm hoping it leads to something in the next year or two. Anyway, I'm relieved I won't have to try and impress my current boss much longer, and the new guy sounds great by all accounts.

More bad news: NT went for a follow-up appointment on his broken collarbone, and they determined it was broken in a bad place and would need a steel plate. So he goes in for surgery on Friday sometime and will be out of commission for a while. Poor boy is bummed to have so much down time; he's not good at being lazy. And goodness knows how much this will cost! We've only got a couple hundred left in flex, so that will be a drop in the bucket. But I know from his ER visit of a couple years ago that bills take forever to arrive, so we've got time to come up with the money. I'm not going to worry about it.

The last big bit of good news: NT got his annual bonus! They had a really good year so he got $6K (netted a little over $4K).

I immediately put it to use: made up the $1460 we were behind on saving up for the UK tickets, maxed out my Roth for the year ($575), set aside $400 for our beloved daycare lady's Xmas bonus, and put the rest toward NT's Roth (about $1650). I also had some surplus in the January budget so I bumped his Roth purchase up to $2400. We still have a long way to go on his Roth since I've neglected it all year, but hopefully we can make up the last $3K before the April cutoff date. Even if not, at least we made some good progress. Next year we'll definitely max out our Roths!

We're really close to having enough to purchase our UK airfare for next June now. We'll get there by the end of the year for sure.

I didn't even realize until everyone started commenting on it. Hooray for pictures! To celebrate, here's one from day 12 of Family December. That's SL on the left (3) and AA on the right (5).



That was a really good family day. I did sleep in a ton after staying out so late the night before with AS, but once I got moving, I took the kids out for about six hours. First we were going to eat at the Pizza Hut in Target; AA had gotten a coupon for reading and it was going to expire soon. To my disappointment, the Target Pizza Hut doesn't accept the coupons!

I got on the phone with NT and he told me where another Pizza Hut was located, so we went there. It was much nicer anyway, with a restaurant-y feel, and had more menu options so I wasn't stuck with a big pretzel as the only vegan option.

We'd been planning for the kids to do their Xmas shopping at Target, but we just went to the CVS across the street from the Pizza Hut. There was a stocking-stuffer section so I helped them pick out gifts for each other as well as me, NT and AS.

Then we went to the winter carnival. It didn't have a miniature carousel like last year, but it was free to enter this year! There were wooden things to take pics with (like the one above) as well as ones to stick your head through. Every half hour or so, another community choir or school group got up on a stage and sang carols, and there were hay bales to sit on. It wasn't cold out at all by MN standards, so we stayed quite a while. We got hot apple cider and mini-donuts, hung out in the warming house for a bit, took lots of pictures, listened to the singing, and went to an enclosed Xmas shop where I let the girls pick out ornaments to give our downstairs neighbors.

As we were leaving the carnival I saw we just missed the bus we needed, and we happened to be by the sculpture garden with the famous Spoon Bridge and Cherry (we used to live across the street from it and the girls could see it from their bedroom window), so we ran over and took pictures, then ran back and caught the next bus.

Here's the sculpture. On the right-hand side in the distance, you can just see the top of our old condo building peeking out -- it's kind of beige and hard to see.



When we got home, I did grocery shopping with AS and came home to make an easy spaghetti dinner. I helped AA wrap the gifts we'd bought that day.

Day 13 (Sunday) we went downstairs for toast with our neighbors, which we try to do every Sunday (but have been missing a few because of various illnesses, injuries etc.) After breakfast our photographer friend took our family photos. He just sent over the link to review today, so we'll have to pick quickly (he takes hundreds and we pick 10 or so) and get them to our families (luckily you can just arrange to have them developed at various stores, including in England, so the grandparents can just go pick them up).

I chilled a lot after that long Saturday. I did cook a curry for me and NT for lunches that ended up being quite time-consuming to make, but we both tried it today and thought it was awesome. The girls went to dance class with AS and made a rocket ship out of a box (NT's idea). I helped AA help me wrap a couple more presents that had come in the mail; she's getting pretty good and now I've been letting her wrap and label all presents except her own.

Well, since I'm still waiting to be able to pay my U.S. mortgage payment to the new bank that owns it (weird), I may as well log our UK mortgage payments.

UK #1: $226 to principal
UK #2: $48
UK #3: $50

Total paid to principal so far this month: $323

Figured I do that since I'm in NT's account anyway to work on his UK taxes. Blergh.

Thursday (10th) I had to stay a bit late at work. AS had her last day of teaching so she was too. Our second family (our downstairs neighbors) picked the kids up from daycare and cooked us a delicious dinner. I read to the kids before bed, and after they were in bed one of our neighbors came up to watch a Simpsons episode we'd been telling him about.

Friday I had to get the kids from daycare (we are piecemealing this task since it's normally NT's), and then we dropped the kids downstairs with the neighbors so we could go to some friends' house for their traditional holiday party. Right before we left, NT got a terrible cramp in the arm that's affected by his broken collarbone, so he had to stay home with a heating pad and some Icy Hot. AS and I went to the party and stayed way later than we intended to, because we were having so much fun. So we took a cab home. Then she and I stayed up even later watching Youtube videos together. I don't think I got to bed until after 2am! But it was nice to spend so much time with AS (and not have her worrying about teaching her class anymore).

Tuesday (8th) I didn't spend much quality time with the kids after work/daycare, but it was because I was on the computer ordering photo calendars and other gifts for my and AS's parents. So at least it was family-oriented time!

And after I was done, I played a game with AS and AA where AA was a teacher or librarian and AS and I were her students. It made me realize it must suck to be a kid sometimes and be under constant scrutiny by adults -- I kept getting in trouble for making faces and talking without raising my hand. I think it was a good outlet for rule-abiding AA to get to boss and scold grown-ups for a change.

Wednesday (9th) we got thrown a big curveball, when NT's bike slid on some black ice on the way to work and he broke his collarbone! Just a couple days before he was remembering last year's illness and how he had a bad back for much of the holiday, and looking forward to a Xmas free of pain and painkillers. Oh well! He got a cast and some Oxycodone and has to take it easy for a while. I guess making tea and bringing him dinner and pills counts as family time.

I did get some quality time with SL when we turned off the TV early (yes, we let our kids watch it kind of a lot) and I read her some Dr. Seuss books. She's starting to memorize How the Grinch Stole Christmas (she has an incredible memory for books and songs), so we read that one twice.

She has started to ask for a hug and a tickle instead of a hug and kiss at bedtime. That kid is crazy about getting tickled -- any excuse! I don't think I actually ever really tickle her, because she immediately flops over laughing as soon as my finger pokes her side. It's just the concept that she finds hilarious.

Sunday (the 6th): In the morning I played silly games with the kids (bad pony, baby pony and something about repeatedly sneaking up on a sleeping bad guy). In the afternoon, I helped them finish decorating the tree. In the evening, we decorated a mini-tree up in the book nook, and they helped me wrap the few presents we already had and put those under the big tree.

That night, I finished ordering Xmas presents for all four family members. Now all I need to worry about is gifts for my parents and whether we want to send Xmas cards to friends and other family.

Yesterday, NT and the kids got on the same bus as me on the way home from work, which is always a nice treat, because the kids run up yelling "Mom" and give me big hugs.

I watched the '66 How the Grinch Stole Christmas several times with SL. (It's not available free on Netflix or anywhere, but I can get it on a random website, so we watched on my laptop, cuddled up on the couch.)

I helped AA do her homework (reading 2 books per night); she's up to Level C on the books they send home and can sound out quite a few words without any help!

I cuddled up with NT on the couch for quite a while, because it seemed like all through November we hardly even hugged (what with my various awful illnesses).

We were all three going to have a family budget chat but I fell asleep on the couch before we could. I'm still getting tired sooner than normal, but my energy is coming back little by little.

So a few days ago I realized the mortgage payment still hadn't come out of my account. I sent an inquiry online, but when I didn't hear back in a day or two I called them.

Turns out my mortgage was sold to another company, and I must have missed the letter about it! They gave me the name and number of the new company.

I tried going on the new company's website and setting up a payment, but my old loan number didn't work and I didn't know my new one. So I called them and it turns out that I'll be able to pay them once I get a letter from them, but until then I can't. They assured me there would be no late fee or anything for 60 days. So now, I guess I just wait! So weird -- you'd think they'd have a way for me to pay them right away.

So that was stressful, because the only other time I've been late on a mortgage payment was when I supposedly didn't have to make one but the payoff of the condo got lost. I'm glad to know this, too, is just a weird administrative thing with hopefully no repercussions for me.

Yesterday's family doings:

Helped SL write her alphabet. I had no idea she could at least approximately make all of the letters! Right now they're barely legible giant scrawls, but she's farther along than I realized.

Took SL grocery shopping and to get haircuts. Bought her a piece of chocolate for being a good helper, and then our barber gave her MORE chocolate! Used a carshare for part of it and sang along to the radio together.

Drove AA, SL and NT to drop them off at a community event using another carshare. Oohed and aahed over the Christmas lights decorating people's houses along the way.

It's amazing, when you're being conscious of it, how the littlest day-to-day activities can feel like special family time.

I finally took "after" pics so I could share all the decorating we've been doing for the past few months!

You can see "before" photos

The third day got accidentally derailed from having much quality family time -- I went to a rally straight after work that I didn't know was going to lead into a three-hour march through the city! Got home after 9pm, exhausted, and the kids were in bed, so just vegged out on the couch with AS and NT.

Day four, NT and AS and I went to his company's holiday party. Afterward NT and I went to a music show. The kids had a sleepover with the downstairs neighbor, so AS got some much needed downtime at home.

Yesterday, AA was telling me a story she'd learned at kindergarten (The Gingerbread Man), and it was so good I asked her to do it again while I filmed her. Then I posted the video on Youtube so distant grandparents will be able to see it. (I did the same thing with SL "reading" a book she memorized a few days ago.)

Then, AS and NT and I went out for dinner to celebrate 10 years of being together and 9 years of marriage. We had a wonderful meal and a surprisingly deep conversation about goals, causes, childrearing and other things. It left me feeling very inspired and close to my family.

I thought I should try to document the family-oriented stuff I do this month, since I proclaimed it to be Family December. Yesterday, I worked with NT and AS to get the kids' Xmas lists together, and the three of us played videogames together.

The goal: $486,000 in retirement assets by 2019

Current balance: $256,156

Oct balance: $252,891

Progress: $3265

To reach the goal by our birthdays in 2019, that's 39 months, so we'd need $5893 per month to reach it. Not likely through straight contributions, so we'll have to hope for some growth on top of that!

Assets:
NT's UK pensions:
#1: 17,105 pounds ($27,368)
#2: 20,501 pounds ($32,801)
#3: 4,452 pounds ($7,123)
NT's 401(k): $39,700
NT's Roth IRA: $7,473
AS's trad. IRA: $14,959
AS's Roth IRA: $24,409
AS's SEP IRA: $6,082
CJ's 401(k): $83,878
CJ's Roth IRA: $12,363
NT's flat: 180,000 pounds ($288,000)
CJ/NT/AS house: $440,000
---
Total Assets: $984,156

Total Debt: $483,753

Current Estimated Net Worth: $500,403

October 2015 estimate: $496,161

Change in net worth: +$4,242

Summary: Our retirement accounts pretty much stagnated, but we made some contributions and paid down some debt, so our net worth finally inched up over the half-million mark!

Notes on the numbers above: House value estimates are approximate. I don't have a way to check NT's UK pensions or flat value, so their values stay static for the purpose of this update (unless I happen to get some info by chance). UK asset values and debt amounts are calculated figuring $1.60 for every British pound.

Oh, hi.

So I see it's been a while since I posted. Let me recap my November.

My last entry was Nov. 5. On the morning of Nov. 7, I woke up with body aches and chills. (Yes, I got the flu shot back in September. Oh well.) For two days I crouched on the couch or lay in bed, alternately shivering and sweating. Monday I felt marginally better but stayed home sick. Tuesday, I felt a little better so I worked from home. I managed to go in Wednesday, but Thursday and Friday a cough developed that was really persistent, so I stayed home, billing a half day each day and resting up some more.

That weekend (Nov 14-15) I felt like I was improving so I went in Monday through Wednesday, sucking cough drops and putting on a brave face. By Wednesday afternoon I could tell I wasn't better yet, so I stayed home for a half-sick, half work from home day on Thursday. Friday I needed to go to a studio to help direct an all day video shoot for my job. I was chilly and lethargic but managed not to ruin any shots with my coughing. We ordered lunch from a great sushi place and I could barely eat my spring rolls and cucumber maki. I came home and felt like a zombie.

Saturday (Nov 21) I rested all day and thought if I didn't feel any better in the morning, I'd go see someone. I woke up with my face aching from congestion build-up overnight, and planned a bus ride to get to the nearest CVS minute clinic. Luckily I got there early and was the first one to sign up, because they only had one doctor on duty. She checked me out and said "Well, your ears look great! ... I thought I'd start with some good news." She told me I had sinusitis and was just on the verge of getting pneumonia. She also said judging from my symptoms that it sounded like this rollercoaster ride had started with the flu.

I got antibiotics, an inhaler and Mucinex and was told to cough up everything in my lungs so it didn't develop into pneumonia. I wonder now if I was overzealous with the cough drops and caused the mucus buildup.

Monday and Tuesday I just straight stayed home sick, not trying to do work except for answering one or two emails. Wednesday my office was closed and so I had a freebie day to rest up before Thanksgiving. By Tofurky day I felt mostly human; not a huge appetite, but I cooked all my dishes, tried a bit of everything and enjoyed myself. My 5-year-old woke up that day with diarrhea and ended the night with a fever and chills, but we put her to bed with some acetamenophin and she woke up Friday like nothing had happened. Ah, the miraculous healing powers of young bodies!

I too was feeling much better on Friday. Still a bit lethargic, but completely human. Stuffed myself with leftovers and got my Thanksgiving food coma just a day late.

Yesterday and today I've felt completely back to normal. Thank goodness! I haven't been that sick for that long maybe ever.

Oh, and did I mention I was doing NaNoWriMo? Some days I couldn't even muster the energy to type, so I would fall behind, and then other days I would lie on the couch and type on and off all day, sometimes getting 5000 or more words done over the course of a day. I finally finished (finished my story and got to 50,000 words) this evening! AS also did (and won) NaNoWriMo, as did one of my downstairs neighbors. NT was gone a ton of the holiday weekend for this group he belongs to, helping organize and attending several talks and music shows they had going on, so I felt like I barely saw him, and AS and I barely talked because we were hunched over our computers trying to finish our novels. I only took breaks to rest, play video games, take care of the kids' basic needs and eat.

Once I was done with NaNo it was time to catch up on my long-neglected budget. I finished that up tonight. I remembered to do a 400 pound payment to NT's mum, so now we only owe her 450 pounds. Luckily nothing else was late or too out of shape with our budget. It's been a hugely spendy month; the latest blow was an $800 bill from our contractor for going over budget on our living room. (Though, to be honest, he did run into a few snags, so I can understand why we didn't hit the original estimate.) But we're doing OK.

Oh, and while I was sick my city had another controversial homicide of a civilian by a police officer. (Getting justice for police brutality is my No. 1 cause.) There were marches, rallies, and now a large group of activists are camped outside the police station nearest the killing. A few days after they started the occupation, some racist armed guys that had been infiltrating the camp, saying weird things and filming, got chased away by some of the protesters, and they opened fire, wounding five people! All this was happening and I couldn't attend a single event. NT was able to attend a few things, and I donated money to three different causes related to the crisis, and shared tons of info on social media. Some sick days I just stayed glued to Twitter, following what happened.

My dad was calling and emailing on and off because he and Mom are doing their wills and he wanted to get various bits of info from me and keep me updated on what was going on with it. I was frankly shocked he didn't already have one in place; he's 84 and my mom is 81. I had my estate planning done when I was about 36! But then he's got a very standard traditional family structure, whereas I've got two partners and a non-biological kid, so the law defaults work for him, while we really needed to put protections in place.

While we were communicating I let him know I wouldn't be coming home in December. I'll aim for January, when I'll have more PTO. Plus, I just lost a month. I haven't done any Xmas preparation, planning or gift buying, and I feel like I've barely had any quality time with my nuclear family for a month. I want to stay home and make up for that lost time, plus get ready for Xmas.

Now I'm going to have some urgent stuff to do for work this week. I've got en email and intro for an infographic due by midmorning tomorrow, and three or four articles I'd really planned to turn in before the end of the month, but luckily we've got a bit of wiggle room on those. By the time I'm done with all that I'm sure I'll be butting up against deadlines on a few more of my projects. I suddenly seem to be constantly busy at work! But I've got some really high-profile projects and most of the stuff I'm doing is well within my comfort zone, so I'm happy at work. Just a little freaked that I'm going to be farther behind than I realize when I get in tomorrow!

But there were some high points to this lost month. First, I finished NaNoWriMo, proving that I really can write a novel in a month even under the worst possible circumstances.

Second, this was the first holiday when our kids played and/or watched shows by themselves for large periods of time, so we actually got time for adult relaxation (or would have, if I weren't sick and dealing with NaNoWriMo). It's bittersweet because I know someday they'll barely have time for us at all, but at the same time the taste of freedom is sweet!

Third, our 5-year-old AA had a breakthrough on reading and writing. She can now sound out and spell basic words!

Fourth, we should be able to pay off NT's mum by mid-December. That will feel really great!

Fifth, the El Nino winter has been really mild so far; we've barely had any days below freezing and just got our first real snow on Thanksgiving day (and that was only an inch or so). Winter will begin in earnest soon, but ordinarily it would have been here for a month already, so this has been a heck of a reprieve.

And sixth, it's over! I'm really looking forward to December, when I won't have NaNo and hopefully won't be sick; AS won't be doing NaNo, doesn't have as much work booked, and will finish her teaching semester in 2 weeks; and NT doesn't have nearly as many meetings and events planned for either of the volunteer organizations he belongs to. I'm calling it Family December, and I intend to have lots of quality time with them as well as with my kids. We also have at least three holiday parties (counting work, alumni and friend parties) to go to, and none that we have to organize ourselves. Our dating/wedding anniversary is this week and we've got a babysitter and reservations at a favorite restaurant. And I'm going to at least TWO music shows with NT. So a fun, social month, as long as my health holds out. I'm so looking forward to it!

With all the writing at work and for NaNoWriMo, I'm using a small window of downtime to fool around with numbers for a change.

I don't really work on a monthly budget anymore; I do an annual budget with real dates of predicted income and expenses. I do break it out by month, but some months have 5 weekends of grocery shopping, some have no haircut appointment, some have birthday or Xmas gift line items...you get the idea. Also, I don't factor AS's money in until she gets paid. So the surplus varies and I don't have a sense of how much my budget works out to monthly.

I do have an "emergency budget" amount figured out, but it's skewed because it assumes no daycare (if we were all out of work someone would stay home with the kids), and a tiny grocery budget, but does assume we all need to buy bus passes and healthcare out of pocket.

So I did a workup of an average month, with four weekends and no one-time events like Xmas. Then I factored in my and NT's take-home pay. I was pleased to see that even without AS's freelance income, we have over $1000 surplus:

Daycare (minus flex spending reimburse) -$668.34
Mortgage ($2789.40 -$1074 rental income) -$1,715.40
Utilities (est) -$400.00
Spending money -$120.00
Groceries -$200.00
Spending money -$120.00
Groceries -$200.00
AS dental -$27.95
Roth IRAs -$1,375.00
Spending money -$120.00
Groceries -$200.00
Spending money -$120.00
Groceries -$200.00
Barber -$100.00
Cell phones -$50.43
AS healthcare -$71.00
Carshare -$90.00
Bus pass -$85.00
---------------------------
Total expenses -$5,863.12


CJ paycheck x2 $3,344.12
NT paycheck x2 $3,579.46
--------------------------
Total net income $6,923.58

Budget surplus $1,060.46

Then I wondered, what would a bare bones budget (but not emergency where we'd need to cover our own healthcare and bus passes) look like relative to our budget? The last time we had a real bare-bones budget, our expenses were much higher because we hadn't refinanced or paid off all our non-mortgage debt. So I figured that out as well:

Daycare (minus flex spending reimburse) -$668.34
Mortgage ($2789.40 -$1074 rental income) -$1,715.40
Utilities (est) -$400.00
Groceries -$150.00
Groceries -$150.00
AS dental -$27.95
Groceries -$150.00
Groceries -$150.00
Barber (just NT, me every other month) -$30.00
Cell phones -$50.43
AS healthcare -$71.00
Bus pass -$85.00
---------------------------
Total expenses -$3,648.12

CJ paycheck x2 $3,344.12
NT paycheck x2 $3,579.46
----------------------------
Total net income $6,923.58

Budget surplus $3,275.46

Essentially, we're very close to being able to get by only using one income if need be! That is super cool to look at. This budget wouldn't be very fun, since it cuts grocery spending and omits fun money and carshare spending, but it would keep us alive, fed and sheltered.

That was a fun exercise. Now back to working with words.

Where is this month going?! Between NaNoWriMo and the craziest work week I've had in a long time, I haven't felt like I had even 5 minutes to post about my debt progress.

Anyway, our mortgage payments all posted:
US: $659 to principal
UK1: $221
UK2: $47
UK3: $50

All told, that's $977 paid to principal this month.

Since July, I haven't had any progress to report on the retirement goal to have $486,000 in retirement assets by 2019. Our plan values dropped for two months straight. However, this month they mostly recovered. With all the money we dumped in over the past couple months, our retirement assets are now at $252,891, or $4319 more than they were in late July.

To make the 2019 goal, I need to be growing by more than that per month, let alone by quarter. But I know investment values can be irregular. Hopefully we'll make up for lost time someday soon.

Assets:
NT's UK pensions:
#1: 17,105 pounds ($27,368)
#2: 20,501 pounds ($32,801)
#3: 4,452 pounds ($7,123)
NT's 401(k): $39,277
NT's Roth IRA: $7,405
AS's trad. IRA: $14,933
AS's Roth IRA: $24,368
AS's SEP IRA: $6,069
CJ's 401(k): $82,887
CJ's Roth IRA: $10,660
NT's flat: 180,000 pounds ($288,000)
CJ/NT/AS house: $440,000
---
Total Assets: $980,891

Total Debt: $484,730

Current Estimated Net Worth: $496,161

September 2015 estimate: $479,334

Change in net worth: +$16,827

Summary: Our retirement accounts haven't quite recovered their value (my 401(k) was up over $85K at one point and now is less than $83K), they've recovered enough to show the benefit of our recent contributions and debt paydown. We'd previously lost nearly $10K of net worth over two months; now we've made that back plus nearly $7K more.

Notes on the numbers above: House value estimates are approximate. I don't have a way to check NT's UK pensions or flat value, so their values stay static for the purpose of this update (unless I happen to get some info by chance). UK asset values and debt amounts are calculated figuring $1.60 for every British pound.

It's been a busy week! What with planning for the 10/31 Halloween party AND for starting NaNoWriMo on 11/1, I haven't sat down to write a blog entry since I got back.

As I mentioned a couple posts ago, I went on an impromptu trip to Va. to see my mom. My sister had mentioned her declining health and I was worried.

The good news is, it wasn't a stark change. She barely got up and walked around last time I saw her; this time I never saw her get up. (She did mention going to the bathroom once but it was when I was asleep.) She has spent most of her time on the couch for the past decade, so it's only a slight change that she spent ALL her time there.

She has trouble using her arms and legs and doesn't have much of an appetite.(That said, I think I got her to eat a fair bit while I was there!) And her hearing is going, so I had to really raise my voice for her to understand me. But her personality is the same -- sweet, social, gossipy, mundane -- so if she's in a lot of pain, she's some kind of zen master at managing it.

That said, I don't see her getting any better, so I can see why my sister thought I should visit.

It was a good trip overall, though getting to the airport was insanely stressful because the carshare had a flat, then NT couldn't get into the 2nd carshare because he'd unknowingly deactivated his fob by asking to switch car access to his bus pass. My neighbor got me an Uber, but then I had to run this poor driver all over finding the kids, and I lost sight of my DRIVER at one point when I picked AA up from kindergarten, and I was staring into windows until he finally rolled his down and told me he was my driver. Stupid face blindness! But we got to the airport about half an hour before boarding and the flight was fine.

I was flying Spirit, so I packed super light. It was actually freeing to not have to worry about heavy bags! Me and the kids had backpacks and I had 2 booster seats for car rides.

Since my ticket was $200 less than the next cheapest, and I knew my family would provide most of my meals, I splurged on drinks for me and the kids the way there, and on snacks and drinks the way home.

While in Va. I also got to see one sister, two nieces and a boyfriend, AS's mom, and my dad.

AS suggested I get together with her mom since she hardly ever gets to see the kids. She doesn't have a car right now so my dad took me to pick her up and drop her off so she could hang out at my parents' house for a couple hours. I think she was over the moon; she doesn't have family in the area so it was nice for her to feel part of a big family group. And AA & SL are her only grandkids, so that's a big deal. She was getting on her phone and telling her sister and others, trying to get the kids to talk to them. She even made ME talk to her sister in Connecticut, whom I've never met or spoken to! LOL. She wanted me to come in her apartment and see some upholstering and other furniture rehab she was doing, so I took pics to show AS. Her electricity was out and she said it was just because she messed up the online billing. I hope that's all it was, because we just sent her $700 last month!

My dad is doing great; he was planning a road trip to Ohio to see his brother, see a guy he's editing a basketball book with, and meet a distant cousin who was related to this old-time baseball player we're related to. (My dad wrote a book about that guy and wants to do an updated edition.) He's showing his age, for sure, but he's also super active (walked a 5k before he came to get me from my sister's on Saturday!) and has lots of projects.

My mom seemed happy to have a bustling house full of people Saturday. She raised 5 kids and babysat tons of kids for decades, so she's used to a big noisy group. After everyone left/went to bed, we stayed up and chatted, and I learned some new things about her childhood (little anecdotes) that I hadn't heard or at least didn't remember hearing.

On the way home, Spirit had a CC offer where if you applied, you got some bonus points automatically and got to count that trip's miles. And if you got accepted and made one purchase, you got more bonus miles. Supposedly, you get the equivalent of 4 one-way trips. So I'm hoping I could visit my mom again in December and have the kids' tickets paid for by this offer and only have to buy one round-trip ticket. We'll see. I'm still waiting to get anything since I filled the application out.

I almost forgot to note this. I sent another payment to NT's mum this week: just 150 pounds because we also had to pay the twice-yearly management fee on our UK rental property.

That takes us to 1250 paid, 850 still owing. If nothing unforeseen happens, we'll pay about half of the remaining amount in November and the other half in December. Then we can start saving up spending money for the July trip to England!

NT and I both have 401(k)s through our jobs. For both of them, after watching the Frontline documentary on retirement plan costs, I went in and switched from a target-date fund to a customized mix of the lowest-cost options.

NT's job doesn't offer any really cheap options; the best prices are in the .9% to 1.1% range. I picked from each type of investment and did 20% in each of five options. Mine, when I initially switched a year or two ago, actually had three Vanguard funds available, so I did something like a 40%-40%-20% blend.

When you have your own mix, of course, there's no automatic rebalancing. I hadn't really thought much about going in and rebalancing myself, until the guy from our 401(k) provider did a talk in our office. Most of what he said was either nonsense or stuff I already knew, but he did bring up the fact that rebalancing is a way to follow the common wisdom of selling high and buying low.

Well, I'd been mulling that off and on for the past couple weeks, and finally I decided to see if I could figure out how to rebalance our portfolios myself.

When I went into mine, I was pleased to see we now have FIVE Vanguard funds available. So first I changed my future contributions to divide more evenly among five funds vs. three. I did smaller amounts to the two that had grown the least over the past 10 years and larger amounts to the three better-performing ones.

Then I discovered that there's a button you can press to have them move funds around to make your current holdings match your allocations. Sweet!

Then I discovered ANOTHER function that lets you enroll in automatic quarterly rebalancing even if you don't have a target-date fund. Even sweeter!

So now I have greater diversity in my work 401(k) AND I have automatic rebalancing set up so I can sell high and buy low without even doing anything.

I'm working on NT's now. He still doesn't have any cheap options, and I discovered he still had about $6 in a target-date fund which prevented me from rebalancing. But I set up a transfer of the remaining funds out of that target-date fund, and as soon as that's done I should be able to rebalance his, and maybe even set it up for automatic rebalancing in the future!

Very eventful weekend.

We finally heard back from our contractor about the basement bathroom. Just to get it up to code, it would be $4300. To cap it off and make it unusable, would be $1000-$2000. The getting it up to code wouldn't fix the walls or floor when they're done, though the shower walls and floor would be fixed. To get walls and floor refinished would take us up to $6000 or $7000

We spoke with our downstairs neighbors and they agreed we should do the basic up-to-code work for $4300, and that we'll attempt the floor and walls as a DIY tiling project. It'll be a good practice one because the basement bathroom isn't one we're worried about, looks-wise; we just want it functional for guests.

Since we're planning on the shared-ownership thing eventually, the neighbors want to pay two-fifths of it, which will be our division of expenses (mortgage, utilities) when we get everything straightened out. So our share of this project is going to be $2850.

That's good news, since we only had $4000 set aside for the basement bathroom issues.

We got the radiator covers in the living room and dining room! Hand-made by a guy who lives just three blocks away, really beautiful, and he finished them less than two weeks after we ordered them! Only $1100 for all three (already figured in to the decorating costs I listed a couple blog posts ago).

My sister visited this weekend, so we dipped even more into our UK airfare savings to buy a few meals out. Only about $200, plus about $50 for wine for the house, so not too bad.

The first day here she started talking about how I should go visit my parents. I started making excuses because we already saw them this summer at the family reunion, and now we're saving up to see the other grandparents in England next year, etc.

But she stopped me and said the reason she thought I should go now is that my mom isn't doing too well.

My mom is 81. She's really out of shape and probably has lots of undiagnosed problems; she refuses to visit doctors because she doesn't want to find out, basically. She did visit a doctor in 2012, because she had a small heart attack. They fixed her up and recommended she get some exercise, but of course she didn't listen and continued to sit around 23 hours a day. Her legs and knees tend to bother her when she does move around so she just avoids it as much as possible. She's been going in this direction for decades, ever since she hurt one of her knees in her 50s or 60s.

My sister explained that her legs and arms hurt constantly now, and she can't even stand long enough to make a cup of coffee in the kitchen, so when my dad is out and about (which he is a lot, because he's very active with lots of travels and projects) she just sits around, not even able to get coffee. My sister said her hearing is really going as well.

My sister and her family live somewhat close so they try to stop by when my dad's out of town, but it sounds like my mom is basically lonely, in pain and going downhill faster than before. She told me I should come see her before she's in so much pain and her hearing is so far gone that she won't be able to enjoy a visit from me.

It's hard to tell how fast my mom is going (especially hard with no doctor opinions to go on, and I know no one is going to be able to get her to visit one), but it did sound to me like she's on the decline.

So I made the decision to visit her next weekend. It's my only free weekend until late November. My sister said it wasn't THAT urgent, but after hearing all that, I didn't want to start gambling with how much fully lucid time my mom has left or anything.

I'm taking the kids since she really lives for her grandkids. The three of us are traveling Spirit for $948. Probably could have gotten there a lot cheaper in November, since this purchase was so last minute, but again, I didn't feel like quibbling on price.

I'll be staying with my sister, so no costs in that area. Maybe some eating out but I bet family will take care of most meals. I'll also try to see AS's mom, since she'd also like to see the kids.

I'll get there 8pm Friday night so not sure if I'll see my mom that first night or go straight to my sister's. Stay all day Saturday and leave 11am Sunday morning. So I don't know if I'll see my mom Sunday either. I'll have to work it out with my sister. I suppose there's some chance I could stay at my parents' house. My mom is a controlled hoarder (held back by my dad's organizing and decluttering) and they used to have a roach infestation, but I heard they got that taken care of. So maybe I'll try to stay at my mom's house Saturday night so I can have some time with her Sunday morning. (My sister lives about half an hour drive away from my parents.)

Hopefully I can just get AS's mom to visit at my mom's house, so I don't have to be away from her for a few hours in the little time I have there.

Still ironing out the details. We'll see.

If I sound calm, well, I DO feel pretty calm. I really faced my mom's mortality in 2012 when she had the heart attack. And I got a lot of crying out this past Saturday. I still feel freaked out that I'm writing about my mom as if she's going to die. But this last blow from my sister has made me finally accept it. It may not happen for months or even over a year, but of course she is, just like anyone else.

Anyway, I'm taking the money for the plane tickets out of the $4K I'd saved for the bathroom, since we only need $2850 plus some for DIY tiling supplies. So I'm not worried about the money. We have been spending a lot of money this month, but facing mortality makes me less afraid of spending, if it's spending that's really giving me something. The stuff we're doing to make our house our own, and money to hang out with my partners, my sister, my mom and dad -- these are things worth spending money on.

I've tried every which way to max out AS's Roth, but the mistake I made when opening her SEP -- which I only realized after I opened it I'd opened as a traditional IRA -- has made it too difficult.

I had AS call several times -- once she was on the phone for over an hour. Finally I just started calling as her (sue me) because she was intimidated by all the technical lingo. I don't blame her! They finally said I needed to fill out a form to recharacterize SEP funds to Roth funds. I got the form but couldn't figure out some of the answers, so I called them. This time they said the form wouldn't work because the Roth was a "legacy" account and the SEP was a "new" account. So they made me upgrade the Roth and call them back a day or two later.

Today I called and at first the guy said the only way I could contribute to the Roth would be through an outside bank account. I re-explained my situation to him, he put me on hold, and came back to say I was right, recharacterization was the only option. But -- too bad, so sad -- it could only happen during market hours. I could call again during market hours and they'd handle it right away.

Guess what? I don't think I can stand another call. It's no longer worth it to me. I contributed the amount I would have used to max out AS's Roth and put it into her SEP instead, and there it will stay. At less than $1000, it's just not worth another phone call and possibly some complicated tax reporting. We'll start maxing out her Roth next year.

Grump grump grump.

I'll still work on maxing out mine and NT's before the April deadline. I think I can get pretty far even if I don't max them out completely.

Whew! Our staycation at the beginning of October turned into a "spendcation," and we're still going. I've been holding out buying more decor for our living and dining rooms, but the new seating looked so weird and out of place in the mostly empty room. Plus we're having a Halloween party which will be our first major gathering at the new house, so I'd love to have the two main rooms done.

So we spent much of our Friday off going to various thrift, antique and furniture stores. We also supplemented with shopping online. Some things still have yet to arrive, but what we have so far is making the living room look much better.

How am I paying for it? Well, I decided to take some of the money allotted for future stuff. I felt like it would be worth the saving-up later to have a finished-looking living room/dining room sooner.

I took $800 from utilities line item, realizing I probably have way more than I need set aside, since next year's budget includes monthly line items based on real amounts.

I took $1000 from our UK airfare savings. I reckon we'll still have enough to buy tickets by the end of this year.

I took the $1500 I had saved for lawyer/application fees for transferring part ownership of the duplex and applying for permission to build an accessory dwelling unit (granny flat) on our property. I can't really move forward on these things until our downstairs neighbor (the lawyer) finishes drawing up the contract for joint ownership. He's been dragging his feet on it, so I figure if it takes me a while to save up the fees for MY lawyer to review it once he's done, fair is fair. I've been holding onto that money for months and months. He can wait once he gives me the draft of the contract.

The rest of the money for our new decor/renovations is coming out of money I'd earmarked for maxing out the 2015 Roths by January. I have until April to max them out, so I could still hit that goal. So far I've only taken about $600 of that line item, but I might use more of it before we're done. (We seem to be pretty close, though.)

The result is going to be rooms that look great, are comfortable and make us happy. And I can re-fund those other budget categories.

What did we get for the money? Let's see if I can remember (some of these are rounded numbers).
Vintage side table $45
Materials to build a behind-sofa table $60
Wood blinds for living and dining rooms $600
Radiator covers (including shelving and window seat) for living and dining rooms $1150
Lucite floor lamp $350
Modern side table $150
Flannel drink coasters $25
Art (three small framed pieces) $150
Picture frames, wall clock, plants, bedroom curtains $180
Dining room ceiling light $400
Wall clock $70
Wooden robot decoration $30
Wooden ferris wheel decoration $95
Wine fridge $100
Drinks cabinet $425
Magazine rack (to hold laptops while charging) $60
Throw blankets $60
Decorative bowls $25

We also "borrowed" about $1000 from the UK tickets fund for our staycation meals out, as well as a couple other wants/needs (sneakers, Halloween costumes, school lunches, cat adoption fee, underwear, etc.) We're getting at least $1700 of shared spending money by the end of November, possibly more, so we'll be able to make that up pretty easily as well.

Feels heady and weird to spend allocated money on something other than what it was intended for! But at the same time, not stressful or scary like putting stuff on credit cards would be. This is after all our money, and we can change our minds about what order we do things in.

To end on a savings note instead, I put nearly $1000 more toward AS's retirement, and it appears all our accounts have recovered (possibly temporarily, if the bear market comes back) about 75% of the value lost during the downturn.