<< Back to all Blogs
Login or Create your own free blog
Home > Bereavement fund?

Bereavement fund?

March 18th, 2014 at 09:47 pm

This post will be a bit morbid, but it's something I've been thinking about so wanted to get it out of my system.

The past month has felt kind of "death is all around me." First, a college friend passed away at age 39 (cancer). Not totally unexpected, but I'd become very involved in her journey via Facebook and her blog, and had convinced myself she'd live. She left behind 2 young kids, a husband and a mother.

Then, a friend's mother died. She was in her 70s or 80s, but still, it was unexpected. He went up north to check on her and do some work around her home, and found her body.

And of course poor Sicily/Teresa from our SA community.

It's made me think, I'm 40 years old, parents are getting older, siblings are getting older, and plus, death just happens unexpectedly to younger, healthier people. Is there a point where you just start having to deal with more and more deaths of loved ones?

The college friend was a big blow. Not because we were super-close (though I did like her and we had tons of mutual friends), but because she fought so hard, seemed so invincible, and then just died. She sort of represents the realization (or rather, the confirmation) that I and my contemporaries are not immortal.

I vaguely considered going to her memorial but I knew it would be well-attended by people who had many, many more memories and stories to share. It did make me think, though. There are lots and lots of people whose services I would like to attend if they passed away.

Last-minute airfare and expenses could really add up. So what so I do if that situation comes? It's not really an emergency, because you know it's likely to happen (you just don't know when or who). Do you pull money out of "wants"? Take it from the EF and build it up later? Or maybe there should be a separate pocket of money, so if and when tragedy strikes, financial considerations aren't an added burden on top of grief.

I'm not prepared to start yet another savings goal right now, but I'm turning over the idea in my mind as a possibility for the future.

6 Responses to “Bereavement fund?”

  1. wife of the deacon Says:

    I'm trying to muddle through my own dark death of recent deaths and anniversary of deaths. Makes me realize that I want to visit my grandma this summer. She is 94 and still in good health, spirits and right mind. I imagine that I should price travel for me and the kids for a visit and come up with a plan. I am less inclined to feel like planning for funeral attendance, but that is just because of where I am at right now. I might start a budget line called "OTHER" to plan for those expenses.

  2. MonkeyMama Says:

    "Is there a point where you just start having to deal with more and more deaths of loved ones?" Yes, indeed. I have decided I haven't much liked age 35+. It's just that time of life. IF nothing else, my parents are losing several of their friends lately. & Grandparents can only live so long.

    That's why I like to keep things flexible. We have enough cash to cover that kind of stuff. If we had a particularly expensive "bereavement" year, then something else would have to give. Probably take it out of wants. As we would want to replenish our cash or not run through it too quickly. Of course, if it became common and regular expenses we'd have to plan better. All our family is local, so I don't foresee any huge expenses. It can get expensive when our parents are in the hospital, etc. (all the driving and eating out) but still doesn't compare to an airline flight.

    I even looked up the other day what exactly my state "family leave" benefits entailed - if there was an allowance for grief or anything like that. Was maybe thinking about it as parents lost another friend very recently.

  3. CB in the City Says:

    I'm feeling much the same way. Now that I'm in my sixties, I am seeing many more deaths among my peers, and lately, I have been dealing with the deaths of young people, as well. And I always feel down in the middle of March because my father died on March 15. It also seems like all my friends are experiencing losses.

    I don't have a bereavement fund, but I do consider bereavement costs a suitable use for my emergency fund. What are we living for, after all, if we don't honor those we love?

  4. creditcardfree Says:

    If we needed to travel for a funeral it would come from emergency funds. Correct, not an emergency, but it wouldn't wipe out our fund at all, so I could just pay ourselves back in the remaining few months.

  5. Petunia in a Flower Garden Says:

    Yes, there is a point where you have to start dealing more with death. . . or maybe you just notice it more. Definitely notice it more now, as my peers are past the marriage/baby stage, and the older generation (our parents & their siblings) is passing on.

    I recently travelled for funeral and the money came out of savings. We don't have any special savings for this type of travel. My relative had been sick for over a year and things could have gone either way for him. I decided early on that if he died from his illness I wanted to attend the funeral, so it wasn't a huge surprise.

  6. FrugalTexan75 Says:

    Quite a few of my relatives are getting up there in age, and I wouldn't be surprised to need to fly out for a funeral in the next year or two. Right now I don't have any special savings for something like that, so I'd just have to use my general/emergency funds. It is something I have thought about though.

Leave a Reply

(Note: If you were logged in, we could automatically fill in these fields for you.)
Will not be published.

* Please spell out the number 4.  [ Why? ]

vB Code: You can use these tags: [b] [i] [u] [url] [email]