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Fitness progress, small savings, big relief

March 15th, 2014 at 10:50 pm

Today has been a do-nothing type of day for me. I'd split a bottle of wine with AS last night and so figured I was hungover this morning (headachey and low-energy), but then NT said the bottle was way-low alcohol and my share would've been the equivalent of a glass of regular wine. That's when I realized I had a cold (or the one I've had has gotten worse). So I didn't work out, or do much of anything, today.

But I did force myself to work out last night for 30 mins. in the exercise room. I did lower-impact stuff, but at least I got my workout in. That made it 8 down and 12 to go to meet my goal for the month. We shall see!

I checked our savings accounts; .32 in interest in one and 6.34 in the other. The .32 will just get set aside in money I'm holding for EF replenishment once the UK renovations are paid for; the 6.34 goes into our moving fund.

NT got his back pay from his raise, a little over $200. This goes into our general surplus to help pay for some of the unbudgeted-for but expected things. In this case it will help cover our taxes owed April 15.

Groceries were about $50 under budget this week! We're going to use the surplus to stock up on Asian pantry staples we're running low on; hoisin and sesame oil and such.

There's been something hanging over our heads lately. Basically, AS's mom started saying about 6 months ago that she was going to try and find a job in our city. Didn't ask us, or discuss it, just started making offhand comments when commenting on our stuff on Facebook. It was a tad odd but I didn't think much of it. Then when she visited in December, she talked about it again, but again, not in a way that really invited conversation. It was like, I'm going to do this. Then she said something about AS's aunt not approving of the plan and saying "who's going to take care of you if something happens?" and AS's mom told us that she told the aunt, we would.

That's when I started getting uncomfortable. We have worked hard to get out of the hole and have grand plans about what we want to do with our money once we're out of debt, and it didn't involve this big unknown quantity. I started feeling insecure about our finances all of a sudden. AS's grandmother once gifted her some money to help with college applications and visits, and her mom cleared out the account (after racking up charges checking the balance repeatedly by phone) and never paid her back.

Additionally, one of the reasons we started getting in the hole was that AS didn't qualify for federal student aid because her parents had refused to file taxes that year. So I took out an unsecured personal loan to pay for a semester, that her parents said they'd pay part of back (I believe I took out $12K and they said they'd pay $4K). They sent me one $200 check and that was the end of it; they never mentioned paying me back again.

Then, when we were buying our condo, a credit check turned up a loan in default under AS's social security number; some digging revealed it was a car loan taken out with her social but her mom's name, when AS was 15. We got it cleared from the record.

A year or two ago, AS loaned her mom $2500 to help pay for a divorce and a couple other things. When I say "loan" it's because her mom used that word; I treated it like a gift and didn't expect to get a penny back, and we haven't.

Needless to say, I was worried that if she moved out here, she'd expect us to finance a lot of things.

So today after another FB message, AS called and spoke for a long time. Not being mean and saying we don't want you out here, but more about thinking practically, considering cost of living here, retirement, etc. Turns out she was really frustrated living with AS's aunt (the mom's sister) and that may be a big part of this wish to move to our city. (And grandkids being here, of course.) AS made it pretty clear we would not be able to contribute much of anything financially, and got her to consider other options, like moving back to the city she used to live in, or just trying to speak more frankly to her sister. At any rate it seems she'll think carefully before doing anything. Here's hoping! I'm just glad things are more out in the open than before.

I feel much better that things are out in the open. Feels like one less variable when we already have so many hanging over our heads!

3 Responses to “Fitness progress, small savings, big relief”

  1. Looking Forward Says:

    Feel better soon.

    Re MIL: You and AS are older and much wiser now. Sounds like you'll be fine. Smile

  2. snafu Says:

    all too often my MacAir eats phrases or sentences, this AM it's made a whole post disappear into cyberspace...Having a cold causes me to modify the grocery list to include all those Vitamin C enhancers like yellow bell pepper, broccoli, cantaloupe, cauliflower, citrus, kale, kiwi, papaya, peas, pineapple & tomatoes.

    If AS is comfortable counselling her mom on small steps to gaining the upper hand over finances instead of finances controlling mom's choices, it might go a long way on reducing stress and enhancing mom's relationship with her sister. , Nothing drastic, just baby steps and tiny adjustments to avoid late fees, penalties and no new purchases unless you're throwing something out. [I tried that out with DNiece and it worked]

  3. ceejay74 Says:

    Thanks guys! AS and her mom spoke again yesterday and it seems like this has opened up a welcome new avenue of communication between them, about finances, estate planning and realistic future plans. I'm very glad something healthy has come out of it.

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