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Random musings

January 11th, 2010 at 08:53 am

Nothing much has happened monetarily for a couple days, which is really boring, especially since I'm still waiting for my dad to cash the first check toward paying him off!

We had kind of a decadent weekend, with pizza delivery on Friday night and Thai food (at an actual restaurant!) on Saturday. We're also in the red on grocery spending -- doesn't mean much except that we dip into the next biweekly budget, which often causes us to dip into the next one earlier as well. I'm going to see if it balances itself out gradually, but if we're still ahead of ourselves in a month, we'll do an eat-through-the-pantry week. That always gets us back on track, so we've never actually overspent on groceries to the point of taking money out of any other category to pay for them.


AS just got a $500 check for a freelance proofreading project, and she just got $400 the week before for another one. She's working on another book for the same place and I think she's got another lined up? I'm starting to get mixed up because the jobs are coming so fast and furious. While I miss our weekend and night-time hanging out, the money is going to help tremendously.

Right now, we're holding on to all the money in her business checking account. The first thing is to see if we owe any taxes for 2009 -- we're not even sure whether some of the money is '09 or '10 income, so we're waiting to get the 1099 from the company. The second order of business will be to make sure we're holding enough money aside for '10 taxes. I'm thinking if we set aside 25% it should cover self-employment tax; does that sound about right?

Thirdly, AS is going to need to purchase some equipment that will fit discreetly in our dining area, which is going to become her primary workroom as we transition the sewing room into a nursery. For a while she'll be able to keep some of her supplies in there, but if she gets pregnant in a couple years, we'll need the entire room to fit two babies and their things. So she's probably going to get a sewing machine that goes into its table, as well as some kind of cabinetry that can hide away her most-used supplies. The dining room table will work great as a desk and cutting table, but there may be other storage solutions we need to think of. That will all be coming out of her business account, another reason we're not touching those funds.

But, once taxes and dining-area conversion are taken care of, any excess funds will be available to put toward one or more of our 2010 goals. I'm hopeful that we'll have at least $1K to play with, and that's conservative (and not counting any further freelance projects she may get offered).


NT and I had our first daycare center tour last week (AS got tied up at work and didn't make it). It was a very impressive place on all levels, including a positive vibe, educational yet fun focus for the older kids, good child-to-caregiver ratio, and open-door policy for parents (meaning we could visit during lunchtime). It's also less than a block from my office! Really there are only two drawbacks: It's $1300 per month, and there are no openings until October (and that's if we reserve a spot now; October may go away if we don't act quickly enough).

But, if our one or two home daycare options don't work out, $1300 is still the least expensive center option available to us, so for the center to have such a high level of quality is great. NT and I (and hopefully AS this time) have another tour, at a center that's located in a Baptist church and is $1352 per month. Still convenient to our bus route, even though we couldn't walk over there on our lunch break. We should at least have a point of comparison, even though we're pretty sold on the other one if we do have to go the daycare-center route. (Plus, we'd have to have somewhere to send baby until a spot opened up at our place of choice.)

Whichever option we're going to take, I'm feeling some stress about how best to explain to the provider that the child has three parents. We live in a bubble world where we generally only meet new people who already know some of our friends, so we've been vouched for as not weirdos (or, not *bad* weirdos). I always get flustered when it comes to a complete stranger that we have to get to accept us without the backing of mutual friends. I have these nightmare scenarios in my head of someone taking offense to our lifestyle and trying to call in Child Protective Services or INS or something. I'm going to lean heavily on AS and NT, who both have better social skills as well as less of this particular type of social anxiety, to get strangers to warm up to the idea. (Because honestly, once people do, we usually end up getting compliments about how happy and well-adjusted we are and how lucky to be able to share parenting between three. I just worry about how it sounds when someone doesn't know us.)

I think I had some other random topics I could have blabbed away on, but I finally got some work to do, so I'd better go!

7 Responses to “Random musings”

  1. Nathan Says:

    Why address it at all, especially with a corporate day care? Like the birthing classes, people will come up with their own assumptions - and if they ask who AS is, you could just say "She's the third parent. Is there an authorization or something similar we need to have filled out to ensure that she can visit whenever and/or pick up the kid?" and just leave it at that.

    If it's a private, in-home facility - I'd approach it as though you were coming out to a distant relative. "I hope this doesn't change things, but I want you to be sure you know an important element of our family. AS is the third parent to our child. We're confident that more parents are better than fewer, but if our situation is an issue for you, we figure it's best if we're all on the same page from the start."

  2. momcents Says:

    I'm sorry that there is stress about disclosing your family structure, but I think that Nathan gives good advice. Be simple and straightforward.

    I live a traditional lifestyle and honestly in my own religion I've met very die-hard Catholics who don't agree with the fact that two of mine are fertility-drug babies (as if God didn't intend for them to be conceived because of the reproductive assistance we received).

    I must admit that I did stop and think for a minute when you mentioned about AS having a baby in a few years. Seems to me that you're all a group of well-intended functioning grown ups who will be able to provide a wonderful life for your offspring.

  3. whitestripe Says:

    lol: not *bad* weirdos Big Grin
    while it's not the same situation, there are a few circumstances and personal lifestyle choices that DF and I have made that are not the norm. I find that I unconciously edit/omit from my conversations when talking with people that I think may judge us.

    It makes me sad and angry that people live with anxiety over what other people's reactions to their choices may be. I don't think anyone has the right to judge a person for their choices if it does not cause unwanted harm to another person.
    unfortunately I can't change the world Big Grin but atleast I can tell you that there ARE people who are accepting - and hopefully as time goes on those people will outnumber the ones who are closed-minded and judegmental - but in order to achieve that, people might need to know you exist! Smile even if you don't feel like talking, it might help if AS or NT do, even if it's just the basic information that the daycare needs.

    Ok, I'll get off my soap box now Big Grin

  4. ceejay74 Says:

    Thanks guys. I just need to calm down. Most people are way too busy with their own lives to worry about someone else's. Plus, our baby will be as cute and our money as green as anyone's. Smile

  5. whitestripe Says:

    our baby will be as cute and our money as green as anyone's - true

  6. momcents Says:

    Oh, and pregnancy hormones tend to elevate every little thought (especially the ones that might be potentially worrisome). Hang in there! I bet the baby will be too cute!

  7. Rob Says:

    Excuse my ignorance, I was just cruising the blogs and I have a couple of questions. What is the 30 in 30 challenge? And lastly what does NT and AS stand for? I'm familiar with most blogging terms I think but these ones I am not, are they peoples initials?

    If it helps, I find that many people worry too much about what others think, and in the end always think, why was I so worried...

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