...for us bloggers with money-foolish relatives.
What do you say when they ask you for money? How do you tell if they really "need it" or if they only need it in the sense that they have no intention of pinching pennies and depriving themselves like you do? How do you pose that question to someone who has never really tried to economize and has always been in financial trouble?
Aagh...
Need a support group...
October 11th, 2007 at 07:35 pm
October 11th, 2007 at 08:18 pm 1192133910
Do they just call you and say "can we have some money?". How does this happen?
October 11th, 2007 at 08:25 pm 1192134353
October 11th, 2007 at 08:54 pm 1192136050
October 11th, 2007 at 09:05 pm 1192136718
My Mom had to finally tell people that she had her money tied up and couldn't take it out. She wasn't lying, she put it in CD's.
This person will ask someone else. Like some said above, don't even get into it.
October 11th, 2007 at 09:10 pm 1192137039
Thanks for your comments! I needed someone to say I wasn't just being heartless. I will offer them some of my meager personal savings if it will help, but I don't think a hundred or so dollars would even make a dent. I'm not going more in debt, or slowing down our quest to pay off our debt, for something that probably will not improve their situation (or teach them how to fix it) at all in the long run.
October 11th, 2007 at 09:19 pm 1192137577
October 11th, 2007 at 10:28 pm 1192141692
Just my thoughts ...
If you can't "gift" it, don't lend it. My dear friend is a poor money manager and once I brought her grocery shopping with me and I paid for the staple of a decent week's groceries (dairy and produce).
I offered to pay my brother's mortgage on one occasion (but he declined the offer and opted to borrow from someone who needed the money "less")
We recently did not bail out my inlaws (poor money managers) who had their checking account frozen for some various reason. They make more money than my DH and we have four kids and manage to live on less.
Be honest about your situation, that might make the request less reasonable.
October 12th, 2007 at 12:13 am 1192147985
October 12th, 2007 at 01:34 pm 1192196085
October 12th, 2007 at 03:21 pm 1192202498
It was some skillful maneuvering--AS knew if she outright refused, it would be perceived as some sort of filial disrespect, so she offered up what we could, knowing her mom wouldn't want to negotiate paltry sums with her daughter--she's only shameless up to a point.
So we are back on track! We actually feel like we won a $2000 prize by not having to loan the money! :-) I really appreciate everyone's support on here.
October 12th, 2007 at 10:02 pm 1192226550
It is good that you are working on this problem with your partner now, because it can become a contentious issue if it persists. It has really caused arguments between my husband and I.